Thanks for sharing your experience, Its always hood to hear from people that have been on the path for some time.
I’m definately a nerd and fairly hardheaded, so I’ll keep it up and keep reporting. Also I’m in a pretty good situation to learn in that I’ve recreated the disappointments of the social order so I know nothing to wait for or hope for there.
I think the problem is the discontinuity between experiencing these things work on darkroom and recap and then getting sent back to prison on the blue line and having to walk around all day doubting it (still trying for silence but not always getting it). Which seems like the worst betrayal i could engage in. Maybe after a few years my link with intent will be clean enough that I can take that on directly.
Carlos and the witches deserve all the credit in the world. We have a chance because of them. Thanks for your help. And thanks to the inorganic beings that stop by and show me things (hello, if you read this!)
They DO read what’s in the subreddit…
In fact, there’s a phantom copy of the subreddit out there.
I used to get notifications from it at 1AM, wake up, take a look, and then realize I suddenly have a laptop on my stomach.
AFTER checking what the “notification” was for.
I’m not sure, but I seem to recall that the notification sound that woke me up, isn’t used anymore.
So it wasn’t a real laptop.
But it all sure looked real, and I did indeed wake up to look at it.
i think you only need recapitulación and doing magical passes to follow this patch , with a “real” benefactor you would need to do the same anyway. its what i feel at least
Thank you for sharing your experience, too. I appreciate hearing from others on their journey. I think being open and sharing is the way forward, getting rid of this heirarchy of secrecy and competitiveness. I wanted to see that happen before but it was not possible, now I think it is. There is a kindness present where before people thought they had to prove they were ruthless. My other big lesson (I cut off from my entire world and moved to the opposite side of the planet in 2007 and left everyone behind) is that ruthlessness and cutting off is not the way, actually connecting with others is the way. I’ll stand by that argument too. I’ve experienced cutting my entire world off to know.
One of the things I struggled with the CC stuff was the “cult” nature of it. I understand the need for secrecy but unfortunately it ticked all the boxes that suggest it was one, or maybe Cleargreen was a cult, but there was cultishness in it all in 1990s and thereafter.
Same thing happened to Osho’s world, I don’t think he was bad per se nor a cult originally, I think he got used by those around him, who weren’t as adapt at meditating but were much better at manipulating and were hungry and vacuuous and desperate. Much like you describe in Taishas “new” old book.
But CC kept hold of the reigns of his cult while he lasted, but once he was gone then it is just echoes from his time, like ripples from the past reaching us; we feel the energy in it for a moment, then it is gone, we cannot grab it any more. it’s just an echo. I think that is why the lineage ended but I have yet to confirm what is happening now, something is happening. It is why I am back.
CC also arrived in a time before we even understood all those “its a cult” problems. Now we are better aware of them thanks to extensive media shows on them and… the internet.
So, applying Presentism to the journey is also important. It is easy to deride the teachings from the perspective of how things are done in 2026, but we then ignore the fact this was happening in 1970s (CAVEAT: if it was happening! unless we know for certain there will always be an “if” and we should not ignore that, imo.) But that was a very different time. Everything since then up to CCs death was also a different and unique time. The closing of the lineage time. I can accept that. This is also a new time - revisiting the scraps to see what we can salvage to continue the journey (fight!) of human energetic beings maybe.
Then y2K birthed the internet and streaming media, and so our access to global information sped up, and so our understanding evolved rapidly, and that is what we see today. I remember first time I sent a phone text to the guy living upstairs and we both stood amazed at the “magic” of that text message going out to space and coming back down to his phone. Today I get upset if I cant uploaded a 1 hour video to Youtube in 30 seconds. We desensitize to the changes, then we read the books and experience words that havent changed since 1990s, and of course we question their authenticity. But its a similar thing - truth itself can fluctuate in this world of intent, since energy is not static it is just an agreement. But when truth fluctuates it freaks us out, because we NEED stability to function so we panic. But maybe that is how it is supposed to be, unclear.
the 2nd enemy of man - clarity. That is my enemy today. I am clear, it is why I have to force myself to push on to the next stage and do the work. It would be very easy for me to sit back and stop doing anything. I have clarity in my life why would I bother doing anything?
But the underlying knowledge will not change even if it comes from a different direction in the future than CC. The only thing that changes is the containers that deliver it.
That is why - for me - it no longer matters if CC was telling the truth. I am a veteran of that world coming back the other way, with death next to me telling me “I am going to tap you very soon, so make the most of this last walk”, and so it is of little interest to me any longer “was he telling the truth, that crazy old coyote?”. I dont care. I only care in how fast I can filter out the parts that enable me to raise my energetic mass now for my own reasons.
I spent years in this, maybe this is why I am returning because it is a language I know. It IS a language, its own language. CC language. We all speak it. A new comer doesnt, but has to learn it. Like it or not, this language exists and is real and has enabled us all the true-believers and non-believers to progress in our own way by challenging one another. That makes it a tool we can all use. That is how I see it, I dont care who believes or doesnt believe any longer. Enjoy your political positionining if you hate CC, or are using it to con people, or are a menace to society and building a cult, That is your problem. you are still a human on a path as far as I concerned and part of the bigger team.
Take your comment, you covered almost everything just in that comment. You informed me you speak the language well, and so I know we can talk about it fluently. You also signalled which side you feel you are on. Friend or foe. We speak CC, as it were. That just means we can use that to discuss topics that would be masked if we had to speak in Christianity, or Scientology, or even Science, or even Sustained Reaction non-believe language. Its all just language. surface level.
Here is an interesting thing that no one seems to have picked up on yet. Time & Aging. We now know for certain that if I spend some time on a planet that has heavy mass and then come back here, even scientists agree that you will all have aged considerably, but I will not have. That fact is now accepted by the average person thanks to the movie “Interstellar”. And like how The Matrix delivered the concept of the IOBs and Flyers in a way. These things should be a good example of how CC stuff that once was argued, is now proven valid and delivered to the herd via movies as concepts. So if someone like HYL wants to live to 150 years old in the mistaken idea of thus proving his value to himself (or others) then he should dream his way to a heavy mass planet and wait a few hours then come back. Why not?
I am going all over the place here though, so need to reign it in. Thank you again for your comment and everything anyone shares is fascinating. I am very pleased to see less people fighting and more people curious and receptive to the possibilities. Whether we remain chained to the constraints of CC world to continue is another question, but the rules here are that we do, so I will. In here at least.
I have quite a lot to say on this as I left everyone in my world behind in 2007 and moved to the other side of the world. I’ll save going into details here and do a seperate post on it. Some things about the experience of “aloneness” I wish I had known before I had to go through it. The funny thing is I did it after I had given up on CC so wasnt doing it to escape my past but it happened that I did. I mean, the world is connected by internet now and was then, but it still meant cutting off. Now, 20 years later, I go visit my family or those old friends and a part of me is aloof. They notice it, but I was weird before so they already know I was weird, now I am just weird with extra dose of detatchment.
but to tl;dr your question, there is no avoiding the aloneness. I never felt so god damn lonely as I did on bondi beach where I ended up living the first couple of years after leaving. Why? because I was surrounded by people happy enjoying their company and I wandered past that each weekend with nothing to do and no one to talk to and felt like a ghost. Luckily, I had methods to balance out the terrifying nature of the aloneness. It is terrifying. There is no cure for that terror, only distraction.
Actually only yesterday I was thinking about making a short story about a space man disconnected from his space ship floating slowly away with only an AI in his ear for company. That is the experience of this path. Not because you cut off from your family and move to the other side of the world never to be heard from again, but because the more knowledge you imbibe the more you become aware that you are alone floating in space. The Journey To Ixltan book nails it, just read the last chapter.
But the cure really is simple - strength and Time.
and I had plenty of the latter to consider how to find the former. It took 3 years to stabilise and if I knew then what I know now, maybe it wouldnt have beat me up as much as it did, ot maybe it would and maybe that is the point - the world beats you up because what better way is there to learn?
Strength? of course you dont have it, I didnt, so you fake it because the alternative is to die. Time is a simple one but the part you have no control over so it hurts the most - you wait it out. But its important because while you wait you focus on your goal, and that needs to be so important to you that it sustains you and helps you fake that strength you dont have.
then, aloneness no longer matters. But the only way to survive it and know you can handle it, is to experience it. The very thought of going through that gives me a terrifying shiver but then that is the point. There have to be some things we can’t handle and can never handle. It wouldnt be a big ass scary Universe if it wasnt like that.
Which is also one reason why I really dont trust the IOBs one bit. not even slightly. And why I delayed dealing with them for as long as I could. They are up to something, always were, always will be. The Universe is not predatory, it is parasitcal. That is the biggest problem I see still. But I am a scaredy cat.
so much for the short reply, but I will still do that post at some point.
I think Vipassana discussion is a no go in this subreddit, but I did 15 of them between 2007 and 2019 and then didnt need them more. The bonus is that they actually have a way of recapitulating that usies attention to scan the energy body. I never did as much successful recapitulation as I did in Vipassana retreat. But to discuss that more is probably best not done on this sub as I know Dan doesnt like those pathways and fair enough, they are cul de sacs if power is your quarry. Which in here it is. So. feel free to DM if you wanted to know anything, but other than that, I agree Vipassana is a great tool to get you to innner silence with a bonus of providing raw energy recapitulation in the process.
My own but I also use a drone sound. I find vomiting sounds are the best. Remember when you are sick and you vomit til you turn yourself inside out. what happens next? you feel bliss for a moment, only briefly before the sickness comes back. Junkies make themselves vomit on heroin for the same reason.
I also like deranged sounds, so deranged that is scares the crap out of my Mind and I wonder what is wrong with me that I am so god damn weird.
see where I am going with it?
its very simple. The great advantage of modernity is that it is so god damn noisy and distracting that the secret to meditating is to be noisy since it creates an environment to hide you in so you can do that. Great next to building sites or loud music-playing neighbours.
the trick is always to turn your bad situation to your advantage. I called my method The Gentle Resonance. I will sort out my website so I can share this and other methods I have used along the way to achieve various necessary things. But I guess sharing in here is not allowed since it detracts from the CC message and that is fine, but if you want more info feel free to DM me.
thanks, old dogs just want to be of use if we can be. the hard bit is finding anyone wanting to listen.
I expect it is part of the trap setup, that we have to work hard to escape the inescapable prison.
I also fell foul of the “be ruthless and you must cut everyone off” assumption. I mean, the books actually do suggest it clearly. But once I did that, ironically a few years after I had already given up on CC stuff, it wasnt how I expected it to be. I have made roads back, but it changes you irreperably. I’ll post about my experience of it next maybe as its quite a confusing aspect of the teachings that people tend to hurt themselves with imo.
I think you are the first of the old guard that doesnt push it as the method. And yea, the whole “once you get to SK it doesnt matter” part is how I would expect it to be, not that I have. But the inclings of reach I have had suggest to me that the “concerns” we have drop away once a certain threshold can be achieved.
and yea, the effort required all has to come from self motivation but I had never considered that question before - why does the known draw on us so strongly while the unknown has zero gravitational pull.
I’ll have to think on that now. Its got gold in there too I expect.
My tantra learnings were very interesting in this aspect and even taught it in workshops for a while until I realised no one can handle the distraction, we arent capable of it yet. But from the experience I ended up realising sexual energy used properly (and by that I mean not used at all but “lingered” in) creates very quickly (3 hours, maybe 4) and without any physical contact, the situation necessary for energy to explode that then connects everyone present in the group together. I wondered if it was borderline “seeing” that CC talked about all the time. I never bothered myself with trying to figure it out beyond documentating the method to achieve it on repeat, as I assumed if I reach the threshold “seeing” will just happen anyway. But I had to stop teaching the method as people just wanted to get to the sex and would try to hook up after a session or whatever, but the whole point was not to do that. So I parked all that as “too advanced for us”. I included myself in that, I was always trying to convince myself that I wasnt focusing on the beautiful woman for any other reason that the Spirit pointed her out to me. We are great at conning ourselves.
I think also we need to lose everything, all hope, all possibility, and experience total abject failure then give up. Maybe there is a reason for that. It’s something I will observe as time passes and depending on where I end up. It is very strange to be coming back now when I was so adamant with myself “this is a cult, get away from it, dismiss it all, cut off or die” kind of approach was needed to let it all go. Which I did. so coming back and feeling okay.
It reminds me of dropping smoking, that was also a fight that I never won, then when I did, it was weirdly easy and I was fine with letting it go. I had to study that to understand what had happened too.
question for admins. This post got flagged with a spoiler. I am just trying to understand why so I can avoid the mistake in future.
I did read the rules and thought it was perfectly valid to post my experiences regards the CC path. Can you give me some idea of what I got wrong in that would be helpful so I can avoid it in future and stick to the required regimen.
here is what I took as the rules to follow and am a little confused which of these I broke.
from your “about” section:
decide to empirically embark on your own “definitive journey,” and altruistically document your challenges and discoveries.
And in the reasons for it getting tagged as a Spoiler you have:
this means that we are sticking to what really works, as proven by direct experience by long-practicing members. So, we will either tag as “SPOILER” or remove any post that is at odds with this purpose. We need to make clear our intent to move away, as a community, from the mistakes others have made.
pretty sure my post abided by both of those, so some clarity on my error of judgement would be really helpful. Thanks.
The “Spoiler” tag is used to denote posts whose intent is not to be pragmatically useful for someone who is an active practitioner. Many people don’t like to wade through a post to discover there was nothing, or almost nothing, personably actionable in it.
That tag gives them a heads up that they can skip it.
We have a heavy bias towards promoting posts that report direct experience with the practices. With perceptual details.
From my own experience, I can say that there’s no internal dialogue left once the flyer’s mind is defeated. And no drugs are needed, only intention and practice. It took me 7 years of practice, 5 hours every day. Two hours of recapitulation, and two exercises of Taisha Abelar’s + Qigong every day. And, whenever possible, doing everything consciously — washing dishes, for example: if thoughts distract you, you can think only about what you’re doing right now. And step by step comes the realization that you’re really being controlled. And after that it’s purely a matter of will — whether you fight it or go back into the crowd and live and die like everyone else. And the unknown itself isn’t frightening at all; what’s more frightening is getting stuck here if you don’t keep going.
And I’ll add that a teacher isn’t even necessary. I believe Carlos Castaneda’s books are already a manual for how to achieve everything. Just take it and do it. And one more thing that helped a lot was the practice of crossing the eyes toward the bridge of the nose until one object splits into two, and then gazing at what’s in the middle. This is described in A Separate Reality."
thanks for the clarification. I understand.
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i think doing everything consciously is really a good point. and work or fix your intent in achievent it
Exactly — that conscious awareness is the whole foundation.
I think this is one of the most powerful steps toward seeing how you’re being controlled — recapitulation, the practice from Carlos Castaneda’s work.
You start simply: watching every step you take. At first it’s hard — the mind fights you, throws up noise, resists being observed. But then something shifts, and it turns into one of the most fascinating journeys you’ll ever take — a journey back into yourself.
Here’s an example from my own practice. I’m walking to the market, and I notice my mind already deciding everything for me: which street to turn onto, which vendor to approach, what to buy — even which feelings I’m “supposed” to feel if I walk up to the seller who’s cheated me before. And this is where the real work begins. The moment you notice it, you can change your route — and that single act means you’re no longer running on autopilot. You’re choosing.
Then comes the deeper work: through recapitulation, you go back to that moment and work through the feeling itself — why does being deceived hook you so deeply?** You sit with it, you trace it, you clear it. Then next time, you walk up to that same vendor and check: is the old feeling still there, or is it gone? You do this with everything. This is Castaneda’s “not-doing” in action — you’re breaking the script, stepping outside the automatic patterns that usually “do” you.
Another example: I used to smoke, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t quit. So I took a notebook and started writing down every cigarette — why I wanted it, what I thought it was giving me. One by one, almost every cigarette fell away on its own. Only three were left — the ones I thought I truly enjoyed. I wasn’t practicing Castaneda’s recapitulation yet at the time, but the principle was the same: I broke the habit down into its pieces. And once I had broken the script and taken apart every component of the habit, it simply stopped existing on its own.
I like very much your suggests . Thank you.